“Sometimes I Drink And Nothing Bad Happens” #health #holistic

Sometimes it couldn’t be clearer. You wake up in the morning knowing your drinking has to change and you must do something about it.

But then there are those times when you drink and everything works out fine. You don’t overdrink and nothing bad happens.

This used to confuse me so much. “I must have been overreacting before!” I’d tell myself. “Everything is fine!”

So I’d drink again… only this time, things wouldn’t be fine and I’d be left scratching my head, wondering why. 

If you can relate, let’s talk about why your drinking might be different at different times – and what to do about it…

Key points

First, remember what we’re dealing with here

Alcohol is an addictive, mind-altering drug that’s glamorised and romanticised. It’s marketed to us as a treat, a coping mechanism and something that delivers good times. Given the addictive nature of this drug and the way it’s positioned in our culture, can you see how the stage is set from the start for us to overdrink and become reliant on it? That’s not a personal failing or character flaw – that’s just the way things are.

Why your drinking sometimes feels “fine”

If you need to make a good impression on others – or perhaps you’re networking, focused on the conversation or trying to remember names – you might slow your drinking down to stay sharp. If you’re with friends who don’t drink, you might naturally match their pace in a bid to fit in, because in the moment that feels more important than drinking as much as you’d like. 

Another time your drinking might seem more “normal” is if you’re interrupted halfway through, or you’re eating at the same time, or having a drink after a significant break. Time off from drinking lowers your tolerance, so you won’t need as much to feel the effects. You might then be able to stop at one and feel satisfied, which gives the illusion of control. But the next time you drink, you’ll need a bit more. And then a bit more… 

Examine what happens MOST of the time

If you’re trying to decide whether you need to take a break from drinking, the key is to stand back and look at the bigger picture. If I’d done this sooner, I’d have noticed that more often than not, I was unhappy with my drinking. Those occasions when my drinking felt “fine” and nothing bad happened were fairly rare, to be honest. It’s just that I was great at laser focusing on those rare times!

I ignored the fact that the majority of my drinking happened at home, alone, and in that environment I really struggled to stop. I always had more than I planned. So please don’t make my mistake. Don’t fall into the trap of fixating on that random Wednesday in September when you were with so-and-so and had just one glass. Make sure you’re taking in the bigger picture, not just the exceptions. Track this if you need to.  

What if the “worst option” brings you everything you want?

I know that complete sobriety might sound restrictive and unappealing right now. But what if it’s actually lighter and easier than constantly thinking about your drinking and battling with yourself over how much to drink? I’ve been sober for a long time now and I have so much more peace and freedom than I ever had as a drinker. I love the fact that alcohol doesn’t dominate my headspace – I don’t even think about it anymore.

I care so little about the contents of my glass that these days I’ll go out and just have water. I don’t even order a mocktail. It’s just not a big deal. And it’s that lightness, that “this isn’t a big deal” energy – that I so desperately wanted to have with alcohol. But it never worked out that way. There just came a point where I realised the route to peace and freedom – for me – was taking alcohol out of the picture completely. I wonder if that might be the path for you too.

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.

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“Sometimes I Drink And Nothing Bad Happens” #health #holistic

Sometimes it couldn’t be clearer. You wake up in the morning knowing your drinking has to change and you must do something about it.

But then there are those times when you drink and everything works out fine. You don’t overdrink and nothing bad happens.

This used to confuse me so much. “I must have been overreacting before!” I’d tell myself. “Everything is fine!”

So I’d drink again… only this time, things wouldn’t be fine and I’d be left scratching my head, wondering why. 

If you can relate, let’s talk about why your drinking might be different at different times – and what to do about it…

Key points

First, remember what we’re dealing with here

Alcohol is an addictive, mind-altering drug that’s glamorised and romanticised. It’s marketed to us as a treat, a coping mechanism and something that delivers good times. Given the addictive nature of this drug and the way it’s positioned in our culture, can you see how the stage is set from the start for us to overdrink and become reliant on it? That’s not a personal failing or character flaw – that’s just the way things are.

Why your drinking sometimes feels “fine”

If you need to make a good impression on others – or perhaps you’re networking, focused on the conversation or trying to remember names – you might slow your drinking down to stay sharp. If you’re with friends who don’t drink, you might naturally match their pace in a bid to fit in, because in the moment that feels more important than drinking as much as you’d like. 

Another time your drinking might seem more “normal” is if you’re interrupted halfway through, or you’re eating at the same time, or having a drink after a significant break. Time off from drinking lowers your tolerance, so you won’t need as much to feel the effects. You might then be able to stop at one and feel satisfied, which gives the illusion of control. But the next time you drink, you’ll need a bit more. And then a bit more… 

Examine what happens MOST of the time

If you’re trying to decide whether you need to take a break from drinking, the key is to stand back and look at the bigger picture. If I’d done this sooner, I’d have noticed that more often than not, I was unhappy with my drinking. Those occasions when my drinking felt “fine” and nothing bad happened were fairly rare, to be honest. It’s just that I was great at laser focusing on those rare times!

I ignored the fact that the majority of my drinking happened at home, alone, and in that environment I really struggled to stop. I always had more than I planned. So please don’t make my mistake. Don’t fall into the trap of fixating on that random Wednesday in September when you were with so-and-so and had just one glass. Make sure you’re taking in the bigger picture, not just the exceptions. Track this if you need to.  

What if the “worst option” brings you everything you want?

I know that complete sobriety might sound restrictive and unappealing right now. But what if it’s actually lighter and easier than constantly thinking about your drinking and battling with yourself over how much to drink? I’ve been sober for a long time now and I have so much more peace and freedom than I ever had as a drinker. I love the fact that alcohol doesn’t dominate my headspace – I don’t even think about it anymore.

I care so little about the contents of my glass that these days I’ll go out and just have water. I don’t even order a mocktail. It’s just not a big deal. And it’s that lightness, that “this isn’t a big deal” energy – that I so desperately wanted to have with alcohol. But it never worked out that way. There just came a point where I realised the route to peace and freedom – for me – was taking alcohol out of the picture completely. I wonder if that might be the path for you too.

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.

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Trick Or Treat? Stop Making Alcohol So Special #health #holistic

Halloween’s coming up and it got me thinking about the way we often describe alcohol as a treat. 

“It’s been a long day… I’m going to treat myself to some nice wine.”

“Let’s get another bottle, we deserve a treat!”

The language we use around alcohol is really important. When you’re describing booze as a treat, you’re making it sound very special and irresistible.

In this video, I’ll show you what alcohol really is…

Keypoints

What is a treat?

In other areas of life, a treat tends to refer to a high quality experience. For example, going to a fancy restaurant or the luxury of having some time to yourself. Alcohol just cannot be a true treat – it’s a cheap, mass market drug that’s linked to cancer, depression, anxiety, diabetes and even death. Stop “treating” yourself to a hangover.

“I’m going to TRICK myself tonight…”

We should replace the word “treat” with the word “trick” – because that’s exactly what alcohol is. Just think of all the different things we expect alcohol to do: make us happier, more sociable, help us relax, rev up, calm down, be more assertive, creative, braver, or sleepier. No drug can do all those things! It’s all a big trick.

Look after yourself properly

I invite you to treat yourself to a night off from alcohol and its games. Treat yourself to a new book, a long bath, or a date night at your favourite restaurant. Maybe a treat for you is half an hour reading a magazine in peace. Proper treats should take care of you and leave you feeling good. They won’t make you feel like crap afterwards. 

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.

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Do You Genuinely Like The Feeling Of Being Drunk? #health #holistic

Quick question: do you genuinely like the feeling of being drunk? 

I know this seems like a strange thing to ask. 

Back in my drinking days, I would’ve dismissed this question without even thinking about it. Of course I liked the feeling of being drunk! Doh. 

But to be honest, I never stopped to properly think about the physical sensation of getting drunk. And actually… when you really analyse it… it’s quite a strange thing.

Like I said, you need an open mind for this conversation, but if you’re open to questioning this important element of drinking, this video is for you.

Keypoints

Step into someone else’s shoes

When we’re analysing the physical sensation of being drunk, it helps to think about someone who never normally drinks. Picture a teetotal friend, a child or young adult. What would their experience be, if they were tricked into consuming alcohol? 

Perhaps you can remember your first ever drink. What was that like? Personally I didn’t like it. The room began to spin and I felt awful. It wasn’t very relaxing or fun. The feeling of being drunk was horrible. (But this didn’t put me off. I was sold on alcohol before I even drank it.)

Stick to the facts

Drop any romantic or cute language and nail down the facts. When you feel drunk you tend to get a bit dizzy and lightheaded. You might feel a bit slow and out of control. Your vision, speech and coordination may change.

If you had to take some medication and the side effects included an inability to think clearly, speak articulately or control your actions – and the risk of vomiting, heart disease and cancer – you’d probably be alarmed, not excited. 

So why do we romanticise the feeling of being drunk?

Alcohol is the most normalised and glamorised drug on the planet. We grow up watching the adults around us drink. We’re brainwashed into thinking booze is a good thing before we’re old enough to have our first glass. Hence why I’d decided drinking was a good thing, despite my lived experience of it. 

The language we use to describe alcohol use is very positive as well. When we talk about other drugs, we say people are getting a fix, getting high, or using. But with booze we’re just ‘getting tipsy’ or ‘feeling a bit merry’. 

The good news…

If we can convince ourselves that using alcohol is fun – despite it being a toxic, cancer-causing substance that makes us feel ill – then we can talk ourselves into quitting too. 

If we can believe that it’s fun to be zombified, then we can use that same brain power to get excited about sobriety too. We can start telling ourselves a better, sexier story about living life alcohol free and showing up for our one and only life.

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.

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Why Willpower Won’t Fix Your Drinking (And What Will) #health #holistic

I bet you’re someone who gets things done. 

When no one else volunteers, you step up. When you’re feeling rough, you still make sure everyone else is taken care of. When work gets overwhelming, you just push through.

You’ve spent your whole life solving problems through grit, determination and sheer effort. But there’s one thing that brute force doesn’t seem to fix: your drinking.

If you’ve been beating yourself up thinking it’s just a willpower issue – that you need to try harder, be more disciplined – then this video is for you.

Key points

Even the most driven women struggle with moderation

Let me tell you about Madeline, one of my students. She’s a senior lawyer who put herself through law school as a single mum and became a partner in a male-dominated profession. She’s moved mountains through sheer determination.

Yet she couldn’t figure out how to stop drinking after that first glass of wine. Once she started, she couldn’t stop. If someone as driven and intelligent as Madeline can’t moderate, doesn’t that make you wonder if it’s not about willpower at all?

This isn’t a YOU problem – it’s an alcohol problem

Alcohol is a mind-altering addictive drug that affects the part of your brain responsible for making good decisions. When you’re drinking, you’re using a substance that compromises your own ability to think clearly, stop when you intended to and remember the rules you set for yourself.

You’re not weak or lacking self-control. It’s not that you’re failing at moderation – moderation is failing you. You don’t need more willpower; you just need a different approach and a strategy that actually works.

What actually works

Don’t waste time doubling down on what you’ve tried before or beating yourself up with guilt and shame. The key here is to start changing the way you see alcohol – stop viewing it as something you should be able to control and start seeing it like other addictive drugs.

Another crucial part is understanding why you drink and what you might really need instead. Behind every urge to drink is a normal, understandable human need that’s currently going unmet. When done right, alcohol-free living shouldn’t feel like punishment – it should feel like relief.

Freedom comes when you stop relying on willpower

Once you change your mindset around alcohol, you don’t have to grit your teeth and “get through it” anymore. Madeline is nearly two years alcohol-free now and has made significant changes in her life, including at work.

I’ve been alcohol-free for 12 years, and I wouldn’t have gotten here if it required persistent willpower and grit. I don’t have enough of that. I like an easy life, and that’s actually why I love not drinking so much.

You’ve got to stop telling yourself that you’re broken. You’re certainly not weak. If anything, you’ve probably got too much willpower, which is why you can’t let go of the idea that you can muscle through this with brute force. But unless that approach is working brilliantly for you, maybe it’s time to try something different.

Join me for Freedom Week! Let me show you a gentle, smart approach to sobriety. Click here for all the details.

FREEDOM WEEK

7 Days To Rethink Your Drinking And Take Back Control

JOIN HERE

FREEDOM WEEK

7 Days To Rethink Your Drinking And Take Back Control

JOIN HERE

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Do Not Do This! 10 Ways To Sabotage Your Sobriety #health #holistic

I love sharing tips and advice to help you quit drinking or take a break from booze. 

But I also have another area of expertise…

I spent years mastering the art of NOT quitting drinking

Seriously – I used to be an expert at sabotaging my own sobriety. A real “specialist”

I thought it might be helpful for me to share some of my, ahem, “pro tips” in today’s blog.

That way you can make sure you’re not repeating my mistakes

10 Ways To Sabotage Your Sobriety:

1. Set an unrealistic goal, like quitting ‘forever’. This is nice and overwhelming.

2. Decide that stopping drinking isn’t enough – you’re also going to put yourself on a strict diet too. This is a sure-fire way to ensure you’re definitely overwhelmed and feeling deprived, fast. 

3. Buy books about sobriety, but don’t actually read them properly. Make sure you only skim read a few chapters and look for all the ways your drinking is different from the author’s.

4. Do not spend any time planning ahead for wine o’clock or working out some alternative coping mechanisms. Just cross your fingers and hope for the best instead.

5. Spend some time romanticising alcohol and thinking about how you’ll never, ever have fun again. Think about all the good times you had together and gloss over the bad moments.

6. Crowdsource opinions on your drinking from friends who love booze because their opinion is impartial and absolutely vital here.

7. Google the health benefits of drinking wine. You’re sure there are some… you just have to avoid the articles about the increased cancer risks first.

8. Decide that sobriety is too drastic and that moderation will probably work this time. It hasn’t worked all the other times but you’ve got a good feeling this time.

9. Realise that moderation still doesn’t work. And not only that, it’s really hard work, having alcohol play on your mind all the time.

10. Convince yourself that you’re a hopeless case because you still have no idea how to stop drinking and make sobriety stick. Feel crushed and very, very sad. 

There is another way…

Are you tired of sabotaging your sobriety, going round in circles, and feeling stuck? Perhaps you don’t want to quit drinking for good, but you know you can’t stay as you are…

Click here to join me for Freedom Week and I’ll show you how to escape the drink-regret-repeat cycle.

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3 Mindset Mistakes That Make Sobriety Harder #health #holistic

September’s here, and that back-to-school feeling is in the air.

If you’ve been drinking more than you planned to over the past few months, now is as good a time as any to turn over a new leaf and get back on track. 

In today’s blog, I’m talking about how to avoid 3 common mindset mistakes that can make sobriety much harder than it needs to be!

Key points

Mindset mistake 1: Turning “I don’t want to” into a big deal

In other areas of life, we don’t let “but I don’t want to” put us off. We get up early when we want to lie in. We tidy up. We go to work. We don’t wait until we feel motivated – sometimes things just have to get done, no matter what.

It’s normal to feel resistant to things at times. It only becomes a problem when we talk ourselves into thinking that we should wait until we feel more inspired before we can take action.

Mindset mistake 2: Slashing your car tyres

Getting a flat tyre is annoying. It’s a temporary setback – but that’s all it is. What you don’t do is get so mad that you slash your other three tyres so you’re well and truly screwed. So don’t do this with sobriety either.

One bad day doesn’t need to lead to four bad days. Don’t abandon your sober car in a ditch because it’s got one flat tyre or the windscreen wipers have stopped working. The quicker you get back on the road, the quicker you’ll get to where you want to go.

Mindset mistake 3: Asking pointless questions

Pointless questions include, “Why is everything so hard for me?” “Why can’t I get anything right?” “Why can’t I quit drinking?” These are terrible, pointless questions because you can’t possibly answer them in a way that helps you move forward. 

Don’t waste time and energy answering pointless questions – just ask better questions instead. For example – “I’ve noticed I’m finding this hard right now. What help could I get to make this easier?” Or, “What’s one thing I’m willing to do differently next time?”

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.

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