Divine House #health #holistic

Divine House is a luxury treatment center specializing in holistic treatment for chemical dependency and co-occurring mental health conditions located in San Diego County. Situated on a spacious property in the city of La Mesa – just nine miles outside of downtown San Diego – Divine House offers medical care and supervised detox from drugs and alcohol in several modalities, including individual therapy, group therapy, medication management, SMART Recovery, and 12-step, as well as short-term and long-term residential treatment (both outpatient and inpatient). Divine House's website notes that its staff of medical professionals and caregivers seeks to create "a smooth medical detox and residential treatment for patients" and an environment where they can "flourish in their journey towards better health."When asked in a poll what brought them to Divine House, the majority of former patients, as well as several family members of patients, responded that the motivating factor was dependency on alcohol. Several listed an unspecified addiction or rehabilitation, while others noted that they sought help with mental health issues, including post-traumatic stress disorder, "severe depression," and "a mental health diversion." Length of stay for these patients averaged 45 days, though others noted treatment ranging from 30 days to "over a year."Of the many reasons for seeking help with dependency issues at Divine House, nearly all respondents stated that quality of treatment was the motivating factor. A number of former patients also noted that Divine House's acceptance of insurance also weighed into their decision. Other significant factors for patients included privacy, the quality of the food and accommodations, and the amenities and recreational activities offered to patients as part of their stay at Divine House.In regard to their fellow former patients, respondents said that the "spectrum was covered socioeconomically." Ages varied from "18 and up" and "25 to 55," with most described as "working professionals" or "people getting on their feet." However, nearly all respondents said that their interaction with fellow patients was positive. "Everyone was friendly," stated one, while others wrote that the people they met at Divine House were "relatable" or "friendly and supportive." One respondent stated that the "intimate setting" afforded by Divine House "allowed for a personal experience" that let them get to know each resident. That community environment was "key to [their] recovery."The quality of food at Divine House was described with almost universal praise. "Gourmet" was offered as a description by several respondents, with others noting that the choices were not only plentiful – "good daily alternatives," wrote one respondent – but also very healthy. The facility's chefs "had amazing meals prepared on time every day," wrote another, who also noted that portions favored "as much as you wanted." Snacks, including fruits and sweets, are available at all times, and "individualized to accommodate every resident," according to one respondent. Coffee is "available 24/7."Among the meals singled out for praise were the Asian dishes, which one respondent wrote that they "always looked forward" to. Simpler fare, such as burgers and soup, also rated rave reviews, and desserts also earned high grades. "There is nothing that stands out as something I didn't like," wrote one former patient, although a couple former residents mentioned their least favorite was the tilapia.According to our poll respondents, days at Divine House are an equal balance of structure, privacy, and community. Chores are part of their daily responsibilities, but as one respondent noted, they largely hinge on "clean[ing] up after yourself (make your bed, do your laundry, etc.)." Others saw that pitching in to keep their environment in order was second nature: "I tried to help around the house as much as possible, taking out the trash, doing dishes, etc." Room arrangements are private, though others mentioned the presence of "Jack and Jill" bathrooms, which for one respondent was a positive experience: "The relationship I established with this other woman has created a bond that is invaluable to my recovery," she wrote.Religion is not a primary component of treatment. "Finding a higher power, whatever that may be," as one former patient wrote, was given more emphasis. Another noted that a non-denominational service was provided to patients via Zoom, and while more patients sought access to such services during that patient's stay, "no one would have been forced to" attend the service. A parent of a patient also commented that her daughter's religion was "handled with all respect" by the facility staff.Additionally, treatment focuses on "spiritual healing," which includes but is not focused on 12-step treatment. "No other facility" had attempted such treatment, according to one respondent, who said that this focus allowed them "the opportunity to open up and feel comfortable" speaking about their issues. Alternative methods to treatment are given equal attention by the facility staff, such as meditation and energy work, but the elements that resonated for many former clients were group discussions. Communication between therapists and residents was cited as "the best treatment," while others pointed to the "intimacy of the group" as a positive factorThe quality of treatment carried over to the help provided by the medical professionals at Divine House. One parent of a patient wrote that they couldn't "count the number of times" a doctor went "above and beyond" with their son. Others noted that the doctors "seemed as if they were prepared for just about everything health-concerned." According to general consensus, doctors and registered nurses were "always available" or "readily available at any given time."Treatment was viewed as a "fair mix between" tough love and a more permissive stance. "Not too strict to a point where you felt overwhelmed," wrote one respondent. "Tough love for those that needed it, and more permissive for those already on a good track," wrote another. Phone and computer access is "dependent on residents' needs," according to one former client, but the general consensus among former clients was that phone and internet were accessible whenever groups were not in session, while television was available in "most bedrooms" and in the main common area.Activities and amenities at Divine House are both accessible and enjoyable. Fitness classes are offered twice a week, while other avenues of exercise, from workout equipment (with a personal trainer), basketball, daily walks and swimming are always open to clients. The pool and spa are "beautiful," and clients can also participate in art, music, and yoga classes. Weekend outings are "decided upon by the residents," as one respondent wrote.When asked about whether they were able to abstain from their particular dependencies or issues after leaving Divine House, nearly all respondents answered that they are currently clean and sober. Divine House was directly cited as the reason for their status: "The process at Divine built my foundation," wrote one participant, while another said, "The Diving House is the reason I am sober today." The parent of a patient summed up their son's experience in powerful terms: "I can reasonably say that he wouldn't be sober now… without the intervention of Divine House in his life."

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No Drug Dealers Allowed #health #holistic

How to Keep Your Children Safe OnlineIt's important to talk to kids about social media risks and drug abuse because both can lead to harmful results, especially when combined. Kids need to learn about the dangers of buying things through social media, especially drugs. They also need to realize that those they meet through social media are not likely to be who they seem. But more importantly, they must know where to get help if they need it and how to protect themselves better.Drug Dealers Targeting Kids on Social Media Unfortunately, countless drug dealers are reaching kids on social media, such as Snapchat, using a cryptic code of emojis with tragic results. Federal investigators are warning parents about social media's role in assisting youths in getting their hands on dangerous drugs, mainly fentanyl.Investigators are increasingly finding more and more online tools, from cute emojis to games, that drug dealers are using to target kids. Although social media can be an excellent way for kids to stay connected with their friends, it can also be dangerous. Kids need to be aware of the risks of meeting strangers online and sharing personal information. Drug dealing on social media has also become a considerable risk for kids, sometimes with fatal consequences.Fentanyl Youth Fatalities Are on the RiseAlthough studies show that overdose deaths surged in the first half of 2021, the expected numbers for 2022 are much grimmer. According to a recent Guardian analysis of federal data, youth under 24 years of age have been the hardest-hit victims of the fentanyl influx into our country, with drug deaths up by 50% in that age group.Pills made to look like Oxycontin, Percocet, Xanax, or Adderall, laced with illicit fentanyl, are readily available on social media platforms. Although Instagram says it does not allow the buying and selling of drugs on its platform, a recent report from the Tech Transparency Project (TTP) found an actual "drug pipeline" in which kids are able to find drugs with just a few clicks.Although purchasing drugs is one of the most talked-about risks for kids on the internet right now, it is not the only threat. Here are some examples of the risks associated with social media for kids:Addiction and Overdose: CDC warned the public in late 2021 of a significant spike of drug overdoses on young people, driven by fentanyl often mixed into counterfeit pills. Teenagers are buying deadly drugs on social media, mistaking them for pharmaceutical-grade drugs.Cyberbullying: According to dosomething.org, 71 percent of students have been cyberbullied, and 34 percent have cyberbullied someone else. Cyberbullying can be highly damaging to kids' mental health and self-esteem. Predators: Predators use social media platforms to target kids for sexual exploitation and kidnapping. According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, one in five children who use social media will be contacted by a predator. Inappropriate content: Kids can easily stumble across inappropriate content on social media, including pornography, violence, and drug use. Internet addiction: Kids can develop an unhealthy obsession with online life and spend too much time on social media instead of interacting with people in the real world, which may lead to anti-social personality disorder, anxiety, and extreme depression.Identity theft or fraud: Kids can reveal too much personal information online, putting themselves and their loved ones at risk for identity theft and other types of crimes and fraud. Drug Dealers Have Invaded Our Homes Drug dealers are targeting our kids and robbing them of their lives via social media, and we are not doing enough to stop them. Tragically, we have now been introduced to a world where thousands of parents are losing children to fentanyl pills. Even more troubling is the cartels have found the perfect drug delivery tool – social media. Drugs are coming from China and Mexico at a rate never before seen. There is easy access to drug sales on apps such as Reddit, Snapchat, and Instagram, and an unimaginable number of kids are dying right before our eyes. Snapchat has disclosed new efforts to battle drug dealing. Efforts are being made as drug-related deaths among U.S. high school and college-aged youth are exploding. The company announced an immediate improvement on automated drug detection systems, enhanced partnerships with law enforcement agencies, and a brand-new portal educating users on the risks of drugs.How To Protect Your Kids from the InternetIt is essential to talk to your kids about internet safety and the dangers of using it. You should also make sure that you know what your kids are searching online. Monitor their activities and talk to them about what they are doing on the internet. Be open and honest with them and let them know that you are there to help them if they ever encounter a problem while online.With drugs being so accessible, you may feel overwhelmed to keep your young loved ones safe. Here are some ways that can help:Help your child feel connected to you by keeping an open line of communication. Let them tell you about their friends, what's happening in school, or what they feel. Try being more receptive and less judgmental.Ensure they know how much danger there is in buying drugs online.Being a parent is a tremendous responsibility that continues to be increasingly challenging. Being in constant communication with your child's friends and teachers can help you keep up with what they're doing while preventing any problems before they arise!Please share the news of kids their age overdosing after trying one single pill for the first time.Be aware of payments they might be making to unknown vendors.Monitor delivered packages. Drugs are often sent in unmarked and discreet packages.With so many dangers at your child’s fingertips, it is almost impossible to ensure their absolute safety. Social media has made illicit drugs more accessible than ever and dealers have a total disregard for someone’s age, ability to make decisions, or wellbeing. One of the most important things you can do is educate yourself on what’s going on in the world and your child’s life while maintaining a good relationship with them. Reviewed by Clare Waismann, Registered Addiction Specialist (RAS), Substance Use Disorder Certified Counselor (SUDCC), founder of Waismann Method® Advanced Treatment for Opiate DependenceClare Waismann is an authority and expert on opioid dependence, opioid use disorder, substance dependence, detoxification treatments, and detox recovery.

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New Data Show Disturbing Racial Disparities in Combined Opioid-Cocaine Overdose Rates #health #holistic

An exclusive interview with researcher Tarlise Townsend, Ph.D., reveals a definitive need for harm reduction policies plus investment in treatment in marginalized communities. In these communities, particularly lower-income African American and Latino neighborhoods, the opioid epidemic has combined with stimulant abuse to create a sharp spike in overdoses. These findings, from a study funded by the National Institutes of Health that examined death certificate data in the dozen years before the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, were published last month in the American Journal of Epidemiology.Driven by the three-headed dragon of fentanyl, prescription painkillers, and heroin, drug overdoses kill over a hundred thousand people every year in the United States. However, from 2007 to 2019, drug overdose deaths involving more than one substance increased dramatically across the board nationwide. Additionally, these multi-drug overdoses had a more noticeable spike in traditionally marginalized communities that lack substance disorder education, prevention efforts, and treatment opportunities.The Fix is honored to interview Dr. Tarlise Townsend about the implications of her study.The Fix: Why is the combination of stimulant abuse like cocaine or methamphetamines and opioid use disorder like heroin or prescription painkiller misuse hitting marginalized racial and ethnic communities so hard? As opposed to one or the other, what do you think is the reason for the two-headed dragon?Dr. Tarlise Townsend: The overarching response to that question, unfortunately, is that we don’t have an answer. Although we have diagnosed and identified the problem, we still desperately need to understand what’s driving it: Why are marginalized communities, particularly Black Americans, being hit proportionately hard by these combined overdose deaths? At the same time, the reality is that structural racism shapes everything, including access to resources. There is a lack of harm reduction options in this community, a historical lack of trust in healthcare providers, and a profound lack of access to treatment for substance use disorder.Also, criminalization is a really big factor when it comes to the increased risk of overdose. It is so much less likely that authorities will be contacted in time to administer overdose antagonists like Naloxone. After all, Black Americans, particularly men, are so much more likely to be criminalized for just being in possession of these drugs.As a result, there are many factors contributing to these racial disparities. Also, these disparities may not be specific to just these two types of drugs; stimulants and opioids. It may be a more systemic problem that right now is just manifesting as increased overdose due to the combination of stimulants and opioids. When you put this issue into the context of fundamental cause theory, you realize that the fundamental causes of health issues like socioeconomic status or racism affect health outcomes in almost every context in these communities. These overarching causes fundamentally affect people in so many ways because they basically bleed into everything.Even if you try to address other causes of these health disparities, socioeconomic status and racism will find another way to generate other challenges. Indeed, socioeconomic status and racism have been and continue to be fundamental causes of adverse health outcomes in these marginalized communities. The problem is not just the increased use of stimulants and opioids leading to more overdoses. It also is a lack of recovery resources, educational opportunities, and substance use disorder treatment in these communities.What drug is playing the driving role in this overdose crisis? Is heroin or cocaine proving to be more destructive in these communities?Our study did not look specifically at the type of opioids contributing to these overdose deaths. However, other recent research looking at the problem of opioid-stimulant deaths has found that fentanyl is playing the driving role. The story of this rise in overdoses is due primarily to a surge in fentanyl exposure. There is a contamination of these street drugs that the person who is using does not realize. Despite the increase in combined opioid-stimulant use, the inclusion of fentanyl in that picture is the driving force. In developing countries, particularly in Southeast Asia, methamphetamine use has been connected with working long hours. Is that happening in the U.S. as well? I don’t feel like I can answer that question with any expertise or confidence, but it does bring up another perspective. There is evidence of people who use opioids in homeless populations on the street intentionally using stimulants to stay alert. First, these people are more readily targeted and criminalized for using. Second, they cannot afford to be oblivious when living in such extreme conditions. It could be that the stimulants counteract the opioids, allowing these people to avoid what we would describe as loitering and remain aware of external threats.Thus, the co-use of these two drugs by homeless populations could be described as an effort to cope with really trying conditions. However, despite such hypotheses about what is going on, there is not a lot of proven research. Thus, we know very little about those specific dynamics. Still, the idea of homeless people addicted to opioids using stimulants as a survival mechanism is a notion that deserves greater investigation.Specifically, what kind of harm reduction and evidence-based SUD treatment services are needed in Black and Latino neighborhoods? For example, if you had a billion dollars in funding to fight this crisis, how would you spend it? We need to look at both the money is no object question, and money is an object, so what do we do question. For the first, we need all the things. There is no specific policy solution or harm reduction solution that is going to address everything. There is no quick and easy fix to eliminate rising disparities in opioid and stimulant overdose deaths. We would think that when we implement a societal health intervention, the population in our society that needs the most help will receive the most benefit from such an intervention. However, this is not the case because health disparities will often widen unless you specifically target the communities with the greatest needs. If you want to help those communities, you have to target the barriers preventing them from accessing the help they need, like resource barriers, stigma issues, socioeconomic gaps, and racial and ethnic challenges. Often, the people who benefit the most from societal health interventions are the people with the most resources. The lack of resources in marginalized communities results in such health interventions often proving ineffective.In general, when we are thinking about policies and programs designed to target disparities in substance use and overdose, we need to be intentional about tailoring those interventions to the communities that need them most. We need culturally informed and competent efforts tailored to address the needs of these specific communities that are being hit the hardest by opioid and stimulant overdose deaths. Highlighting such tailoring, we need education and outreach materials translated into the languages primarily spoken in these communities. Awareness of substance use disorder treatment and harm reduction programs need to be raised in contexts that people in these communities trust. A great example is the role that Black churches are playing in Black communities. Since that setting implies a greater trust, it leads to a greater uptake of these recovery options. There is a lot of distrust in these communities when it comes to traditional healthcare settings.Beyond these efforts, I also think we need to be thinking bigger. For example, the safe consumption sites that just opened in New York are encouraging, and initial evaluations are already underway. Researchers are looking at how effectively they reduce opioid mortality and increase the uptake of treatment for substance use disorder and other health intervention efforts. I’m also eager to see what effects decriminalization like we are seeing now in Oregon will have on overdose mortality trends. When it comes to spending money to combat these problems, whether it is the limited funds that are now accessible or an imaginary unlimited amount, researchers need in-depth cost-effectiveness analyses. No matter how much money is being spent, many health interventions that people thought would lead to major results did not give us the greatest bang for our buck. In reality, resources are limited and scarce. Thus, the money spent needs to be used in the best way possible. We need to study which of these programs and policies will prove cost-effective. An example of such a cost-effective study is seen today in the use of Naloxone, the opioid antagonist that can reverse an overdose in an emergency. Distributing Naloxone to people who most likely will experience overdose is highly cost-effective and saves lives. It has proven to be one of the most cost-effective medications on the market. Our experience with Naloxone so far is a good model for figuring out how we can best use limited resources to address this crisis and reduce the health disparities in these marginalized communities.

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The Heart of the Matter: Substance Use Disorder and Heart Health #health #holistic

When you think about a healthy heart, what comes to mind? We all know the importance of regular exercise and avoiding too many saturated fats when it comes to keeping our cardiovascular system operating at its best. But living a heart-healthy lifestyle goes well beyond just diet and exercise. Drinking and drug use, especially when it crosses the line into addiction, can have a massive impact on heart health.Since cardiovascular disease is the leading cause of death for adults in this country, it’s important to reflect on all the ways that behaviors can impact our cardiovascular health — including the choice to drink or use drugs.Alcohol can affect blood pressure: for better or worse. Everyone loves to hear how a glass of red wine — or dark chocolate for that matter — is good for heart health. While it’s true that some research has shown a connection between moderate consumption of red wine and health health, the American Heart Association emphasizes that correlation doesn’t equal causation. The benefit for heart health likely has more to do with people’s actions, like living a low-stress or active lifestyle, than their consumption of wine.What’s crystal clear, however, is that drinking heavily can raise your blood pressure. Having high blood pressure, also known as hypertension, increases your risk for heart attack and stroke. If you have high blood pressure and consume more than one standard drink a day, your doctor will likely talk to you about reducing your alcohol consumption as part of an overall heart-healthy lifestyle.Boosting your blood pressure isn’t the only way that alcohol use affects your heart health. Drinking heavily is one of the leading causes of cardiomyopathy, a disorder where the heart isn’t able to pump blood efficiently. People who develop cardiomyopathy due to alcohol use often experience heart failure, and many need a heart transplant in order to survive.Alcohol may make heart disease more common among young peopleIn most cases, cardiovascular disease becomes more common as people age, and is relatively rare in young people. However, a new study finds that alcohol and recreational drug use can increase risk of premature cardiovascular disease. Researchers found that people who drink alcohol, use tobacco or use recreational drugs including cocaine, amphetamines and cannabis all had increased risk for heart disease.“All subgroups of recreational substances were independently associated with a higher likelihood of premature and extremely premature,” cardiovascular disease, the study authors wrote.The more substances you use, the higher risk you are at. The study found that people who use four or more substances regularly had a nearly 9-times increased risk for heart disease.Alcohol as part of a heart-healthy lifestyleEven if you’re concentrating on your heart health, it’s ok to have an occasional glass of wine. You can even substitute in a beer or cocktail, but it’s important to only drink in moderation. That means having no more than one drink a day for women and two drinks a day for men. Remember, that means standard drinks — not a generous pour.If you have trouble sticking to that limit, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship with alcohol. Unhealthy patterns like binge drinking can exist alongside or without substance use disorder. Any time you’re drinking too much — whether overall or in one sitting — it can have a big impact on your immediate and long-term health. You might need professional guidance to change your interactions with alcohol and switch to a healthier drinking pattern.Taking care of your mental health, including addressing any underlying traumas or illnesses, can reduce stress. Keeping your stress to a minimum is important for controlling your blood pressure and cardiovascular health.Heart health is important, but it doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Taking care of your heart means taking care of your physical, mental and emotional health. Think about the steps you can take to be a healthier version of yourself.Learn more about Oceanside Malibu at https://ift.tt/xXGYcTb. Reach Oceanside Malibu by phone at (866) 738-6550. Find Oceanside Malibu on Facebook.

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The Case for Codependency… With a Rescue Dog #health #holistic

They say all roads lead to Al-Anon, but every time I take my seat in a dank church basement at a meeting that delves into control, I inevitably end up wanting to run away. Because the thing is, there can be a lot of love in an enmeshed family and I have not yet been able to cut those cords. It’s the love I don’t want to lose, as well as the qualities I’ve gained from being a part of a codependent system. The gifts I’ve acquired – like going the extra mile and being the kind of person others can depend on – are things I like about me.I come from a family who polls every decision, vibrates with panic, and shapeshifts into blurred roles and lines constantly, and these are some of the challenging patterns I continue to work on as a codependent person. But at the same time, I’ve been able to use some of the aforementioned CODA skills to help animals, specifically shelter dogs. Yeah, it’s a loophole, of sorts. Everything has a light side and a dark side. But the tangled-up, deep love I’ve learned to practice in my family of origin, the kind of love that almost hurts, has allowed me to have the positive relationships with rescue dogs who need help. And as I’ve learned to engage in this kind of love with them, I inadvertently stopped being codependent with people, because loving dogs well involved me wanting to get them right in the mind. That taught me to implement boundaries. I know it’s a stretch but trust me: walking down a shelter corridor and taking in all that pain, very much makes one want to do right by those animals. It will mean more than wanting to feel like a savior. It will become less about you. What a relief, right?Furthermore, because of how much I love dogs, they make me careful not to make them codependent on me. As a foster mom, my job is to get them ready to go to happy homes and enjoy the smoothest transition possible into their new life. This means I must allow them to experience discomfort, tolerate limitations, learn independence, and be balanced. And in giving these gifts to them, I’ve learned how to give them to myself.Am I really making a case for codependency here? I am.Because once we understand something and experience it fully, with awareness, we can know how to stop it.I want to take a minute to point out that codependency can feel like the encouragement to abandon oneself and put others first. It’s a cutting off self, a lack of identity without person or family to fix or please or obsess about. It’s a dangerous game when we can’t speak our needs or share a truth, and I don’t want to gloss over those agonizing elements of this unhealthy dynamic or make the dysfunction sound fun. But it’s humans I’ve experienced this with, it’s people who have disappointed me when it comes to a codependent paradigm. It's my family I haven’t been able to change the nature of our relationship with.As I type these words, my 17-year old Beagle mix, Ophelia, my first rescue dog, is snoring on my lap. She has never, not once, pushed me to forget myself, has never shoved her guilt onto me or held on tighter when I walked out the door. My dog waits patiently, she dances when I come home, she accepts what I want, and she lets me know what she wants, as if it’s all okay just the way we are, as if we can be together or apart, but the love isn’t dependent on either and it won’t ever be affected by imperfections or mistakes or feelings. I adore Ophelia, I am devoted to her, and because of her, I have grown to love myself. Because of her, I’ve also adopted many other dogs and fostered many other dogs, each time proving to myself again that being codependent on dogs is safe. Here exactly is why:You never have to sell yourself out for a dog’s affection and companionship. You never have to perform to earn their approval. You just have to be halfway decent. For me, going into an animal shelter, bearing that world of hurt and taking in the ugly smells and earsplitting barks and eager eyes from behind kennel bars, was all I had to do to be rewarded with unconditional friendship from someone who needed just one friend in the world. It makes me feel proud to be that friend, and I can admit that a part of me still needs to be needed. Perhaps that part of me is a continuation of codependency instead of a cure, but it’s also a safe place to park my natural/nurture-al symbiotic spirit there so that I don’t keep handing it over to humans who will without a doubt let me down. It’s my great, grand ability to be disappointed that I’ve found hard to deal with. But my old Beagle, my shelter pets, they never let me down. They continue to need me and I am not above saying it because when we speak honestly, we can hopefully prevent the fallout of defects run rampant and pathologies. Emotionally relying on a dog who relies on me is also acceptable in my book because it can actually strengthen the bond. A dog requires consistent checking in, and every time we do that, every time we engage in communication with our dogs, they are looking back at us with those devoted eyes that in and of themselves are an honor. And because of all this happens without words, it will make you believe in the power of communicating, in sharing your needs as well as attempting to understand another’s, with willingness. It will make you get quiet enough to hear yourself. My dogs and I are in a constant feedback loop of connection. Each time I try to reach out and understand or be understood by them, they are doing the same, they are there to receive it, cherish it, and reciprocate. I’m not saying animals are here to serve us, but I am saying that an indirect benefit of loving Ophelia has been enjoying a relationship where codependency feels nontoxic precisely because there is no risk of being rejected. Sometimes it feels like she and I are one. Sometimes other people don’t get that. But I don’t care, and in this light, being codependent with a dog might be the best way towards self-discovery – because I have found that I can be somebody who doesn’t care what others think. Go figure! A dog will become a justifiable excuse to say no when you need to say no, even embolden you to say it. Practicing saying no in order to go feed my dog, walk her, and take care of her has been incredibly therapeutic for me. It has dared me to try saying no at other times. Am I using her? Maybe a little. Does she mind? I don’t think so. Because whether Ophelia catches me picking my nose or declining a call I should answer or being a general asshole or fibbing, she doesn’t judge me, and that has helped me stop judging myself, at least a little bit. Over the years, as I have had to trust my intuition about what I think my dogs are telling me, it has compelled me to trust myself, what I believe, what my gut says. I think that is the muscle I’ve most needed to build in order to loosen my codependency on other people. Ophelia has shown me that I can count on myself, on what I perceive or sense, and that I’m often right. And that when I’m not, it’s not the end of the world, I can try again. More forgiveness has been the result.So maybe I am looking for a workaround, an excuse to be codependent in a way that serves me because it’s so hard to change our own mental patterns. Sure, I’ll probably return to Al-Anon again in six months on the edge of reason. But I will still have dogs in my life to walk through recovery with me, wherever I am on that journey. And for now, this area of my recovery remains the final frontier. Because I love my family, I do, and the only border I’ve been able to implement between us is made up of four-legged friends. I’ve learned to pour my CODA into purpose, into these tender animals who deserve a chance at a good life, and miraculously they’re helping me evolve. They’re helping me feel good about what I give. They’re helping me feel worthwhile and worth loving.What’s ironic is that as I engage in a sacred love with Ophelia, my codependency is morphing and I am in the practice of learning to let go. Because my precious pets will not live as long as I do, and thus I will have no choice but to grow the resilience and self-care needed in order to go on. In this most generous last act, dogs help heal us of codependency’s grip, showing us what we’re made of, how strong we really are, and that we can live beyond heartache. I look at Ophelia with utter gratitude even though I know what’s coming. She will leave me standing on my own two feet, less codependent than I was before her. Proud of what we were together, forever. And there is always another shelter, there are always more dogs to take in and learn from, learn with. And on and on it goes, the world turns, and we redefine ourselves each day by the ones who love us. But when it comes to dogs, they leave us loving ourselves most in the end.

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Hard Conversations: Talking With a Loved One About Their Drinking #health #holistic

Watching a loved one struggle with drugs or alcohol can be incredibly painful. Oftentimes, as a family member, you will notice problematic behaviors before your loved one sees them or is willing to acknowledge them. That can put you in a powerful position to point out your concern and help your loved one get into substance abuse treatment before things reach a crisis point.In an ideal world, talking to a loved one about addiction can bring you closer and get them into treatment. But this can also be a fraught conversation ripe with pitfalls and opportunities for hurt feelings. To make the discussion go a bit more smoothly, it’s best to prepare ahead of time. Here’s how.Evaluate your own emotions and responses.Before you involve your loved one, start by taking an honest inventory of your own emotions and feelings. Oftentimes, we bring our own history into the current situation, which can cloud how we see things and confuse the conversation. Maybe you have your own personal experience with sobriety, or perhaps you grew up with a parent that was an alcoholic. Either of those scenarios can make you more sensitive to a loved one’s substance use and more likely to react, rather than have a thoughtful and logical discussion.Be sure that you’re expressing genuine concern for your loved one, and that you’re not merely being triggered by their behavior. If you have a trusted third-party — like a therapist or confidential friend — to talk through your concerns. Practice formatting your concerns in a way that centers your loved one, not yourself. Putting your own experiences aside might help your loved one take you more seriously.Organize your talking points.People in active addiction often don’t realize the ways that their behavior has escalated. Helping them see their actions can highlight that they really do need help. The key is doing this in an objective way. No one wants to feel scolded or judged; instead they want to feel seen.Think about what behaviors you are most concerned about. For example, you might say something like, “I noticed you’ve been drinking every day after work,” or “The kids mentioned that you slept through your alarm three times last week.” Show your loved one their behavior through your eyes, but don’t shove it in their face.Use “I” statements.It’s easy for difficult conversations to escalate, becoming more and more emotional. An emotional, reactive discussion rarely leads to a productive place. One way to deescalate the situation and remove some of the negative emotion is by using “I” statements.Here’s how it works: rather than coming at your loved one with everything they’ve done, you focus on the impact that has on you. For example, instead of saying “You’re drinking every night and ignoring your responsibilities,” say “I have to take care of the animals and dinner chores alone when you’re drinking after work.” I statements can incorporate emotions and feelings, too. You might say, “I get scared when you’re out late and I haven’t heard from you.”Using “I” statements removes some of the arguing and pushback. Your loved one might disagree about the details of their behavior, but they can’t argue with your experience.Keep expectations realistic.Everyone is familiar with the idea of a big, dramatic intervention that results in someone leaving immediately for treatment. In reality, your discussion is unlikely to look like that. Your loved one might not even agree that there is a problem. That’s ok — this can be the first step in an ongoing conversation. That’s why it’s important to have a positive conversation and leave the door open for your loved one to come back to you after they’ve thought about what you said.Of course, there are situations where waiting isn’t the right answer. If your loved one is endangering themselves or others, or having a negative impact on your emotional or mental wellbeing, it is entirely ok to set boundaries and stick with them. Only you can decide what boundaries are right for you at a given time.Be prepared to offer help.Even after a person realizes that they might need treatment, the logistics can be overwhelming. Be prepared before you even start the conversation by gathering some resources on recovery options, different programs, local meetings, and more. That way, you can capitalize on your loved one’s willingness to accept help as soon as they express it.Only the person who is struggling with drug or alcohol use can make the decision to get treatment. However, as a family member or close friend, you have an important role to play in encouraging them and planting the seed for recovery.Learn more about Oceanside Malibu at https://ift.tt/DckzqCn. Reach Oceanside Malibu by phone at (866) 738-6550. Find Oceanside Malibu on Facebook.

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Outpatient Detox: An Important Option #health #holistic

Before you can start the work of recovery, you need to go through detox — the process of allowing all drugs or alcohol to leave your body. For many people, detox is the most intimidating part of the recovery process. It can be physically painful and even dangerous. That’s why many people opt for going to an inpatient detox. For others, however, the thought of leaving their home and family can cause even more distress. If you’re one of those people, outpatient detox can be a great option.During outpatient detox, like that offered at Vanity Wellness Center, you’ll meet with a medical team every day. They check up on you to make sure that you’re healthy, and also provide the accountability that can make all the difference during the tough moments of detox. Wondering if outpatient detox is right for you? Keep reading to find out.What is detox?If you’re using drugs or alcohol frequently, you might be tempted to just stop. Well-meaning friends and family members can give that advice as well. However, suddenly stopping drugs or alcohol can make you very sick and be dangerous.That’s because when you use, your body becomes physically dependent on your substance of choice. You need more and more of it just to feel normal. If you don’t use, you might experience symptoms of dope sickness, like nausea or sweating, or symptoms of alcohol withdrawal, including tremors and anxiety.The physical and mental effects of detox can be severe. Because of that, it’s important to have a medical team by your side. They know what typical detox looks like. They can help you understand what to expect and where you are in the process. And if you experience complications — like hallucination — they’re at the ready to get you the medical help you need.How does outpatient detox work?When you sign up for outpatient detox, you’ll talk with your providers about what to expect. Part of that discussion will include how long your detox process is likely to last. In most cases, withdrawal from alcohol and opioids lasts about three days, but some people experience symptoms for less time or for longer.When your detox begins, you’ll visit the treatment provider each morning. They’ll take your vital to make sure that you’re stable. They’ll discuss symptoms, talk to you about coping strategies, and possibly connect you with other people who are going through detox. After that visit, you’ll return home or to another safe space to continue detoxing. You’ll return to your provider again the next morning.Medical supervision of detox is incredibly important. So is the fellowship that you’ll feel knowing that someone else is on your team. Detox can be isolating — you’re beginning to cut yourself off from the people you used drugs with, and your sober friend or family don’t understand what you’re going through. In that vulnerable moment, the support provider by your outpatient detox center can make the difference between failure and success.Does outpatient detox work?Some people have more success detoxing when they’re completely removed from their day-to-day lives. For these people, an inpatient detox is a good option.However, inpatient detox isn’t for everyone. Many people feel more comfortable in their own homes, around the people they love. With the support of an outpatient detox program, you can clear your system of drugs or alcohol just as safely and effectively at home as you can in a residential program.When you use an outpatient detox program you have a team of professionals ready to help you meet the challenges that daily life presents. They’ll help you figure out how to talk to your boss about your illness, or cope with your children’s questions. All of that can make it easier to get through detox. Most importantly, the team will connect you with treatment immediately following detox so that you have a clear next step in your recovery process.Unfortunately, outpatient detox isn’t a quick fix or easy option. Simply put, there’s no quick and easy detox. But for many people, outpatient detox is the best of both worlds: it provides you peace of mind through medical supervision, and optimizes your comfort by having you stay in your own bed. If that’s appealing, outpatient detox can be the first step toward your new, sober life.

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