Why does sobriety feel impossible on some days? You wake up determined, but by late afternoon, the cravings are so strong you can barely think straight.
It’s easy to assume this means you’re weak or lacking willpower. But what if the real problem is simpler than that? What if you’re just not taking care of your basic human needs?
I believe that behind every craving for alcohol is an unmet need. And if you’re constantly battling urges to drink, there’s a good chance you’re overlooking some key needs:
Key points
The four needs that fuel so many cravings
When your fundamental needs aren’t met, your cravings will be stronger and more frequent. You’ll be much more likely to reach for something outside yourself (like alcohol) as a quick fix. There are four needs in particular that make a big difference: sleep, nourishment, joy, and comfort. Get these right and sobriety becomes much more doable. Ignore them and you’ll constantly feel like you’re white-knuckling it.
Sleep: The one you’re probably sacrificing
If you’re used to burning the candle at both ends, you’re reducing your ability to handle stress and make decisions that align with your goals. Maybe you think you can’t go to bed earlier because you won’t get everything done. But by staying up later, you’re perpetuating a cycle where you always have too much on your plate and the sacrifice is always you – your sleep, your sobriety, your health.
Nourishment: Are you actually eating and drinking enough?
Being hungry and thirsty around wine o’clock makes cravings so much worse. Yet many women fall into a pattern of undereating – either to save calories for alcohol or because they don’t want to “take the edge off” the buzz. Are you eating enough actual food throughout the day? Plan a snack and some water around 4pm to ward off cravings.
Joy: The missing ingredient in your serious adult life
We might be grown-up, responsible adults doing important things, but we desperately need joy and fun. If you’re not getting that anywhere else, it makes sense that you try to inject some happiness into a boring day by pouring wine. So think about a typical day. What else is bringing you genuine joy? You need that somewhere in your day, otherwise alcohol will always seem like the only option.
Comfort: Learning to soothe yourself without wine
The world is uncertain and sometimes unsafe. Things go wrong, people disappoint us, and we have difficult days. There’s nothing wrong with needing comfort – we all do. But if your only way of comforting yourself is through drinking, you’re going to struggle. What else soothes you? For me, it’s calling a friend, having a bath, curling up with a book, and going to bed early. If you’re drawing a blank, think back to what comforted you as a child. You’d probably still be soothed by that same thing (or a version of it) now.
The key question: What do I need right now?
Can you see how different that is from asking “What’s wrong with me?” Instead, you’re just being curious. Noticing that you have needs. And that you’ve been using alcohol to fill some gaps. There’s nothing wrong with that. Alcohol worked for you, for a while, but now it’s probably creating more problems than it solves. Being able to meet your basic human needs without alcohol could change everything for you.
Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.
The post Are You Taking Care Of Your Basic Human Needs? appeared first on The Sober School.
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