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It’s been a whole year since ‘normal life’ changed and we were told to stay at home.
If your drinking has increased since then, you certainly aren’t alone. But what have you learned from the past 12 months?
That’s the question I asked some of the women I’ve been working with recently.
This time last year they were drinking heavily… now they’re alcohol free.
If you’re trying to quit, I think you’ll find their reflections really helpful.
Even if you’ve been drinking through it, you will have learned something from that. Did alcohol work for you, as a coping strategy? Do you want to learn how to cope with difficult emotions in another way? If you could wind the clock back 12 months, what would you do differently?
Whilst I hope we never go through another pandemic, the chances are that things like stress, uncertainty, isolation etc will reappear in your life from time to time. They may not be so intense or prolonged, but it pays to learn how to deal with them.
In the video I share some posts from women who’ve been through my Getting Unstuck course at some point within the last year. Most of them are between 3-9 months alcohol free and were drinking when covid began.
Here’s what the pandemic taught them:
– You can quit drinking during a crisis!
– Lockdown made life tough, but the ‘upside’ was that it became obvious that alcohol wasn’t helping.
– You’re stronger than you realise and can cope with more than you think.
– Sitting with feelings, sober, is hard at first – but it is possible.
– We’re not meant to do the hard things in life alone.
– You have to focus on what you can control – e.g. your drinking, your attitude, how you choose to show up for yourself.
– Alcohol makes anxiety worse.
– We’re more adaptable than we give ourselves credit for.
What has the pandemic taught you? Do you know how you want to move forward? Perhaps you learned something about yourself that you would never have realised otherwise. I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.
If you’d love some help and support to quit drinking, click here for details of my online course.
(It’ll help keep you on track tonight)
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The post You & Alcohol: What Has The Pandemic Taught You? appeared first on The Sober School.
Before I quit drinking, my brain spent a long time throwing a temper tantrum about it.
Sobriety felt like something I “had” to do – and the whiny, two year old part of my brain was not happy.
I thought I should be able to drink normally. I should be able to drink like my friends did and certainly I should be able to have one or two, whenever I wanted.
If this line of thinking is something you get stuck in too, I want to help you choose something that feels better in today’s video:
Key points:
Replace “I should be able to drink” with: “I get to put whatever I want in my body, in order to feel my best.” Your best is your definition. It’s your choice whether your best includes alcohol or not. No one “has” to quit drinking. You’re just making choices that feel best to you.
Should is such an unhelpful word. When it comes to alcohol, there’s nothing you “should” be able to do. We don’t talk about how we “should” be able to eat chocolate all day. We know we can do that – if we want to – but we choose not to, because it wouldn’t actually feel great.
At some point we have to quit making our lives all about that next glass. Life needs to be about more than when, where or how much we’ll drink. If you’re so upset about not drinking, it’s an indicator that something about you or your life needs to uplevel.
That feeling of “I should be able to drink,” is never really about the alcohol itself. It’s about what the booze covered up and distracted us from. Perhaps something in your life needs to change – or the perhaps the way you think about certain things needs to shift.
Drinking problems are nearly always thinking problems in disguise. The goal of sobriety isn’t just to not drink. Long term, successful sobriety is about the inner work of creating a life you don’t need to escape from. For support with this, check out my online course here.
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The post “But I Should Be Able To Drink If I Want To!” appeared first on The Sober School.
How would I cope with a bad day at work without drinking?
I couldn’t imagine going out at the weekend sober, or celebrating something special without a glass of champagne.
Because I couldn’t picture these things, they felt impossible.
So then I’d wonder: what’s the point in even trying to quit?
If your mind is getting stuck in a similar thought loop, this week’s video will help you untangle it all.
Key points:
What we can and can’t imagine doing changes all the time. Before I quit drinking, there were so many things I couldn’t picture doing without booze. Nowadays, drinking is the thing I can’t imagine doing! I look back on the way I used to drink and it seems crazy now.
1. Bring awareness to this pattern of thinking. Start noticing it when it comes up. A big part of quitting drinking is learning to manage your mind and that starts with paying attention to your thoughts.
2. Think about all the other things in your life that at some point, you couldn’t imagine doing – or not doing! I suspect your life is full of things that seemed unthinkable at one point or another.
3. Seek out women who’ve already quit drinking. Find out what their lives are like and use that as inspiration to know that you can do it too. You can hear from lots of women who’ve been where you are right here.
4. Give sobriety a chance. You’ve given alcohol so many chances over the years – now sobriety deserves the same opportunity. You need to do it (and keep doing it) for at least 6-9 weeks so you can get to the good bit of sobriety and experience it properly.
If you’d love some help and support to quit drinking, click here for details of my online course.
(It’ll help keep you on track tonight)
As well as the guide, we’ll also send you helpful and inspiring weekly emails with free resources, tips & advice, plus details of our awesome products and services. We’ll take care of your data in accordance with our privacy policy and you can unsubscribe at any time.
Your free guide is on its way - please check your email!
The post When You Can’t Imagine Living Life Without Booze appeared first on The Sober School.
This means forcing yourself to think about how things will really turn out, if you have “just one drink.”
(Because the truth is, it’s probably NOT going to be just one…)
This technique of ‘thinking though the drink’ can really help – if you do it properly.
But a lot of people don’t.
In fact, they do the opposite of playing the movie forward…
In this video, I want to make sure you’re not getting this wrong either:
Key points:
When you’re tempted to drink, stop and make yourself think about how things are *really* going to work out. It’s probably NOT going to be “just one drink”. So what does the end of the movie look like for you?
How will you feel later this evening? What mood will you be in? Will you sleep soundly? How will you feel when you wake up? What will you be saying to yourself? Is there anyone else who will be affected by your decision to drink?
Here’s what many people do without realising: they play the first 10 minutes of the movie over and over again in their head, but they never think past that. If you went to the cinema, you would judge a film in its entirety, not based on the opening scene.
If you find yourself saying things like “drinking is so relaxing” then you’re not thinking past the beginning of the movie. Remember, your ‘drinking movie’ lasts for 24 hours, because that’s how long you deal with the fallout of drinking for. How much of that is ‘relaxing’?
You have two choices: you can carry on romanticising the opening scene and playing a movie that’s good for 30 minutes and bad for 23+ hours. You can waste your time, energy and brain power on that.
Or you can push play on a different film: the alcohol free movie. It might not have a great opening scene and you might wonder if you’re going to like it. But it will grow on you. And this movie has a very happy ending.
If you’d love some help and support to quit drinking, click here for details of my online course.
As well as the audio, we'll also send you helpful and inspiring weekly emails with free resources, tips & advice, plus details of our awesome products and services. We’ll take care of your data in accordance with our privacy policy and you can unsubscribe at any time.
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The post Playing The Movie To The End – Are You Doing It Right? appeared first on The Sober School.