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I spent years mastering the art of NOT quitting drinking
I thought it might be helpful for me to share some of my, ahem, ‘pro tips’ in today’s blog.
That way you can make sure you’re not repeating my mistakes…
10 Ways To Sabotage Your Sobriety:
1. Set an unrealistic goal, like quitting ‘forever’. This is nice and overwhelming
2. Decide that stopping drinking isn’t enough – you’re also going to put yourself on a strict diet too. (More overwhelm!)
3. Buy books about sobriety, but don’t actually read them properly. Skim read a few chapters and look for all the ways your drinking is different.
4. Do not spend any time planning ahead for wine o’clock or working out some alternative coping mechanisms. Just cross your fingers instead.
5. Spend some time romanticising alcohol and thinking about how you’ll never, ever have fun again.
6. Crowdsource opinions on your drinking from friends who love booze.
7. Google the health benefits of drinking wine. You’re sure there are some… (there are not).
8. Decide that sobriety is too drastic and that moderation will probably work this time.
9. Realise that moderation still doesn’t work.
10. Convince yourself that you’re a hopeless case because you still have no idea how to stop drinking and make sobriety stick.
Are you tired of sabotaging your sobriety, going round in circles and feeling stuck? Perhaps you don’t want to quit drinking for good, but you know you can’t stay as you are…
Let me show you how to take a break from drinking that feels really good. No misery, no deprivation – just the opportunity to test drive alcohol free living properly.
I’m running a free masterclass this weekend, starting Friday 25th June, which will go deep into this topic. If you’d like to receive all the training videos, sign up here: thesoberschool.com/masterclass
The post Do Not Do This! 10 Ways To Sabotage Your Sobriety appeared first on The Sober School.
You tell yourself, “I’ll just have one and leave it there. One drink is all I want anyway.”
There’s something very seductive about the ‘just one drink’ thought.
It sounds as if you’re going to have the best of both worlds – you’ll have what you want but do no harm.
However, if you’re anything like I was, one drink was rarely just one drink.
If you want to stop repeating this pattern over and over, there are two things to remember…
I explain all in this video:
It sounds as if you’re going to have the best of both worlds. You’re going to get rid of your craving, feel satisfied but not do much harm because it’s only one glass, right? But that’s an illusion. If having “just one drink” worked on a regular basis, you wouldn’t be reading this.
If you’re obsessing over having a drink, you’re making it a really big deal in your mind. You’re romanticising it. When you have that one drink, those thoughts about how amazing alcohol is won’t vanish. They’ll still be there, only now they’re even harder to resist.
Just one drink opens the door to an evening dominated by what you’re going to drink, when, where, how much. It’s exhausting. Your internal chatter is consumed by the contents of your glass, meaning you can’t give anything else your complete focus.
Even if you do somehow manage to have just one drink, it’s hard work. You’re making the contents of your glass extremely important when really, life needs to be about more than the liquid that is or isn’t in your glass.
I recommend taking a break from drinking so you can step out of this tiresome pattern and experience something else for a while. You might just discover that sobriety feels better than ‘just one drink’ ever did. For details of my Getting Unstuck course, click here.
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The post “All I Want Is One Drink… Just One Drink.” appeared first on The Sober School.
I’ve been reluctant to talk about AA, for fear of upsetting anyone.
Yet it seems increasingly important to point out the obvious: Alcoholics Anonymous isn’t for everyone.
(It certainly wasn’t my cup of tea).
For many people, there’s something about it that just feels… ‘off’’
If you’re looking for an alternative to AA, I thought it was about time I explained why my approach is different.
Key points
I believe anything that helps people quit drinking is a good thing, so if the 12 step approach works for you, then great. But don’t let anyone tell you that you ‘should’ go to AA, get a sponsor or declare yourself an alcoholic. (You don’t need to use that word, as I explained here).
When I quit drinking, I knew it would only last if I could figure out a way to feel good about sobriety. I didn’t want to rely on willpower or feel deprived for the rest of my life. The idea of having to continually attend meetings felt depressing.
Nowadays, one of my biggest goals with The Sober School is to show women that alcohol free living isn’t a punishment – it’s a lifestyle upgrade. It’s not a stone in your shoe or a cross to bear because you failed at drinking ‘normally’.
The 12 Steps of AA (which you can read here) focus on correcting your character defects. This is where my approach alters dramatically. I don’t think there is anything wrong with you – becoming addicted to an addictive substance is entirely predictable. You aren’t weak, broken or defective.
If you want to change your relationship with alcohol, you need to learn how to change your response to your emotions. Most of us haven’t been taught how to do that. And when you’re consumed by all your supposed failings, the chances are you won’t ever do that work.
We’re all just doing the best we can with the tools we have available to us. If you’ve decided that alcohol is a tool that’s no longer working for you – and you’d like to learn how to handle life a little differently – details of my online coaching programme are here.
(It’ll help keep you on track tonight)
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The post An Alternative To AA – Why My Approach Is Different appeared first on The Sober School.