Do Not Do This! 10 Ways To Sabotage Your Sobriety #health #holistic

I love sharing tips and advice to help you quit drinking or take a break from booze. 

But I also have another area of expertise…

I spent years mastering the art of NOT quitting drinking

Seriously – I used to be an expert at sabotaging my own sobriety. A real “specialist”

I thought it might be helpful for me to share some of my, ahem, “pro tips” in today’s blog.

That way you can make sure you’re not repeating my mistakes

10 Ways To Sabotage Your Sobriety:

1. Set an unrealistic goal, like quitting ‘forever’. This is nice and overwhelming.

2. Decide that stopping drinking isn’t enough – you’re also going to put yourself on a strict diet too. This is a sure-fire way to ensure you’re definitely overwhelmed and feeling deprived, fast. 

3. Buy books about sobriety, but don’t actually read them properly. Make sure you only skim read a few chapters and look for all the ways your drinking is different from the author’s.

4. Do not spend any time planning ahead for wine o’clock or working out some alternative coping mechanisms. Just cross your fingers and hope for the best instead.

5. Spend some time romanticising alcohol and thinking about how you’ll never, ever have fun again. Think about all the good times you had together and gloss over the bad moments.

6. Crowdsource opinions on your drinking from friends who love booze because their opinion is impartial and absolutely vital here.

7. Google the health benefits of drinking wine. You’re sure there are some… you just have to avoid the articles about the increased cancer risks first.

8. Decide that sobriety is too drastic and that moderation will probably work this time. It hasn’t worked all the other times but you’ve got a good feeling this time.

9. Realise that moderation still doesn’t work. And not only that, it’s really hard work, having alcohol play on your mind all the time.

10. Convince yourself that you’re a hopeless case because you still have no idea how to stop drinking and make sobriety stick. Feel crushed and very, very sad. 

There is another way…

Are you tired of sabotaging your sobriety, going round in circles, and feeling stuck? Perhaps you don’t want to quit drinking for good, but you know you can’t stay as you are…

Click here to join me for Freedom Week and I’ll show you how to escape the drink-regret-repeat cycle.

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3 Mindset Mistakes That Make Sobriety Harder #health #holistic

September’s here, and that back-to-school feeling is in the air.

If you’ve been drinking more than you planned to over the past few months, now is as good a time as any to turn over a new leaf and get back on track. 

In today’s blog, I’m talking about how to avoid 3 common mindset mistakes that can make sobriety much harder than it needs to be!

Key points

Mindset mistake 1: Turning “I don’t want to” into a big deal

In other areas of life, we don’t let “but I don’t want to” put us off. We get up early when we want to lie in. We tidy up. We go to work. We don’t wait until we feel motivated – sometimes things just have to get done, no matter what.

It’s normal to feel resistant to things at times. It only becomes a problem when we talk ourselves into thinking that we should wait until we feel more inspired before we can take action.

Mindset mistake 2: Slashing your car tyres

Getting a flat tyre is annoying. It’s a temporary setback – but that’s all it is. What you don’t do is get so mad that you slash your other three tyres so you’re well and truly screwed. So don’t do this with sobriety either.

One bad day doesn’t need to lead to four bad days. Don’t abandon your sober car in a ditch because it’s got one flat tyre or the windscreen wipers have stopped working. The quicker you get back on the road, the quicker you’ll get to where you want to go.

Mindset mistake 3: Asking pointless questions

Pointless questions include, “Why is everything so hard for me?” “Why can’t I get anything right?” “Why can’t I quit drinking?” These are terrible, pointless questions because you can’t possibly answer them in a way that helps you move forward. 

Don’t waste time and energy answering pointless questions – just ask better questions instead. For example – “I’ve noticed I’m finding this hard right now. What help could I get to make this easier?” Or, “What’s one thing I’m willing to do differently next time?”

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.

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5 Unusual Reasons To Quit Drinking Alcohol #health #holistic

Are you still on the fence about taking a break from drinking?

Maybe you’ve heard all the usual reasons: great sleep, no hangovers, saving money, looking better… but perhaps that’s not quite hitting the mark for you.

Sometimes we need to hear something a bit different to make it all click into place.

Today I’m sharing five unusual reasons to quit drinking alcohol that might just give you that fresh perspective you’re looking for…

Key points

Reason 1. You stop falling for a marketing scam

Over the past few decades, there’s been a very effective “pink-ification” of the alcohol industry to get women drinking more. Pink gins, fruity cocktails, low-calorie wines, “wine o’clock” culture, glittery prosecco with the girls – none of this used to exist.

This blatant marketing to women is often presented as empowerment or equality, but it’s not. We’re just being sold to. When you quit drinking, you’re no longer falling for one of the biggest marketing cons of our time.

Reason 2. You get your identity back

When you’re drinking, you stop doing a lot of the things that make you… you. Maybe you’ve stopped reading because you can’t focus properly when drunk. Perhaps you don’t paint anymore because it seems like more effort than drinking. Maybe you’ve lost your passion for theatre because shows interrupt your drinking schedule.

What part of your identity has quietly slipped away because alcohol has taken its place? Sobriety gives you the chance to rediscover who you really are. There’s a happier, more confident version of you that will return when you take alcohol away. 

Reason 3. You get your self-trust back

Drinking made me a terrible liar – to myself. I’d say “I’m just going to have one” or “It’ll only be a small one,” but even as I said it, I knew it wasn’t true. When you can’t trust the words coming out of your own mouth, it makes it harder to believe in yourself in other areas of life.

When you keep letting yourself down with this one thing, night after night, it makes it harder to push yourself and excel elsewhere. You don’t go for that promotion or try that new thing, because you’re feeling unsure and doubting yourself.

Reason 4. You stop distracting yourself from uncomfortable emotions

Ok, so this might not sound appealing, but you actually need those uncomfortable emotions – the boredom, the loneliness, the stress. They’re telling you something important about your life.

Drinking through these emotions keeps you stuck in them, repeating the same patterns over and over rather than changing anything. When you’re sober, you can actually hear what your emotions are trying to tell you – and act on them. 

Reason 5. You get to flip roles in your life

Let me tell you about my student Katie. She used to spend her summers drinking at her local pub, watching people kayak down the river as she got drunk and staggered home. Now that she’s sober? She’s the one kayaking past the pub on Friday nights!

I love that story because it reminds me of my own role flip. I used to be the hungover woman in the cafe on Sunday mornings, wondering how other women had already been to the gym. Now I get to be one of those productive people who work out early and get on with their day.

Which of these unusual reasons to quit drinking alcohol resonates with you the most?

I’d love to hear in the comments which one gives you something new to think about. And remember, you can quit drinking for any reason you like. It might be one big thing, or a range of smaller reasons… it might be something noble and serious or something much smaller and sillier than that. There are so many reasons to quit drinking alcohol!

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.

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The 3 Words On Wine Bottles That Make Me So Mad #health #holistic

Have you ever noticed those three little words on the back of wine bottles? 

“Please drink responsibly.” Every time I see them, I roll my eyes.

Here we have a product that causes cancer, depression, anxiety, dementia, diabetes, and even death… and yet the label fails to mention a thing. 

That’s because there’s a whole industry banking on you continuing to blame yourself for drinking too much (whilst also seeing wine as pretty harmless and normal…).

In this video, I’m unpacking the sneaky psychology behind ‘drink responsibly’ – and sharing some brutally honest alternatives…

Key points

“Please drink responsibly” puts all the blame on you.

Those three words imply that any unwanted health risks or side effects can be avoided if you can just get a grip and drink responsibly. All the focus is on you – not on the drug itself. That seems mad to me, given what we now know about there being no safe level of drinking and the fact that this drug kills over 10,000 people in the UK every year.

Plus, recent research has found that women who binge drink just two large glasses of wine in one sitting face a 2-3 times higher risk of liver damage – even if they’re only doing that once a week. I don’t know about you, but I’ve drunk way more than that in one sitting, many times.

We’re already very responsible, thank you.

The outrageous thing is that the women I work with at The Sober School are incredibly responsible people. They’re juggling work, businesses, caring for children or grandchildren, managing their own health struggles, navigating perimenopause – and they keep everything going no matter how bad they feel. Their drinking often happens because they have too many responsibilities on their shoulders.

So what should wine bottles actually say?

I asked some of my Sober School graduates what they think should be written on the label instead. Their suggestions were brilliant and brutally honest. Things like: 

• Warning: Only drink this if you want cancer, dementia, anxiety, weight gain, insomnia, and fake friends.
• Warning: Many precious moments of your life will be taken by drinking this toxic thief.
• Warning: Alcohol impacts your ability to create memories.  You will also do some really stupid s@*t while drinking this – regrets and shame are unavoidable.
• Warning: May cause you to fight with your spouse and not remember what you said or did the following morning
• Warning: Can gradually screw up your life without you noticing it has taken hold until you’re in a right mess!

The alcohol industry is banking on you staying hooked.

I know, it’s tempting to get to this point in the post and say, “Well – she would say that, wouldn’t she?” Maybe this all sounds a bit preachy and holier-than-thou (though, I really hope it doesn’t). Because actually, I have a serious point to finish with here: there’s a whole industry counting on you to continue blaming yourself for your drinking.

They’re banking on you to continue normalising alcohol and looking for solace at the bottom of a bottle. They’re going to be laughing all the way to the bank as they reassure you that these pretty bottles of rotting fruit juice are elegant, magical elixirs. Just drink “responsibly” and things will be fiiiine. I hope you can see through the nonsense.

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course

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When You Can’t Imagine Living Life Without Booze #health #holistic

Before I quit drinking, I struggled to picture what life would be like without booze in it. 

I just couldn’t imagine coping with a bad day at work without wine. 

How would I go out at the weekend or celebrate something special without a glass of something fizzy?

Because I couldn’t picture these things, they felt impossible. So then I’d wonder, what’s the point in even trying to quit? 

If your mind is getting stuck in a similar thought loop right now, this video will help you untangle it all.

Key points

It’s ok if you can’t imagine life, sober

I get so many emails from women who cannot picture life without alcohol. And because they can’t imagine it, they think they won’t be able to do it. But the problem is that if you wait until you can picture it all really clearly, you might be waiting forever. That day may never come. 

The secret is to find a way in which you can take action comfortably – without being able to picture all this stuff and without having it all figured out. What if you moved forward anyway? That is possible for you. Here are three tips to help.

Tip 1: What else did you struggle to imagine at one point?

Perhaps there was a time when you couldn’t see yourself in the role you’re in now.  Maybe that’s as a Mum, a grandma, a position at work, or maybe you completely switched careers. Perhaps you’re a runner or a yogi, and at one point you’d have laughed to imagine that! Maybe you’ve lost loads of weight, and there was a time when you could never imagine yourself in a thinner body. Your life will be full of things that at one point or another seemed unthinkable, but you now take for granted. 

Tip 2: Seek out women who’ve already quit drinking

Find like-minded women who are already sober and doing this thing that feels hard to picture. Find out what their lives are like and use that as inspiration to know that you can do it too. Go to my Success Stories page and watch the videos. Look for the things you have in common with these women. Remember: if these women can do it, then it’s all the more evidence that change is possible and you can do it too. 

Tip 3: Collect data without thinking too far ahead

This is the taking action part of it all. Because truthfully, you’ll be able to imagine so much more if you just go and do stuff. Hold it lightly and take small steps. Remember, you’re not making a lifetime decision here or signing a contract. You’re just experimenting. If you were a scientist, how much data would you want to gather before drawing a conclusion? Let yourself collect experiences and information in the least scary way: by committing to taking a break from booze

If you’d love some help and support to take a proper break from booze, click here for details of my online course.

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How To Survive Summer Parties And Boozy BBQs #health #holistic

I used to love going to boozy BBQs and picnics – they were the perfect excuse to day drink. 

The warm weather made me crave alcohol, and the idea of watching the sun go down, stone cold sober, seemed unthinkable. 

So when I quit drinking, I was surprised to discover that summer parties were still fun… even if everyone else was knocking back booze.

If you’re about to tackle your first sober party, boozy BBQ or wedding this summer, I’ve got four tips to help you through it.

Key points:

Get clear on why you’re meeting up

No matter how much booze there is, the gathering is about more than sitting outside and drinking. (If that was all it was about, then you’d just stay at home!) The real reason you’re going is to connect with humans, e.g. catch up with old friends, celebrate a birthday or spend quality time with family. 

When you know what the point of an event is, you can see that you’re going to get that no matter what you’re drinking. You aren’t missing out – all you’re doing is pouring a different liquid into your glass. 

Decide in advance that you’re not going to drink

It sounds obvious, but how many times have you decided to wait and see how you feel, only to end up drinking?! Save yourself the mental torture of going back and forth over the decision by determining in advance that you’re going to stay committed, no matter what. 

Remember – you can’t figure sobriety out without overcoming a few challenges. Pushing through something like this, sober, is how you grow. This is how you teach yourself that you’re capable of more than you think, and you don’t need alcohol to have a good time.

Keep an alcohol free drink in your hand

When you’ve already got a drink on the go, it’s easier to turn down the offer of something you don’t want. It also gives you something to do with your hands if you’re nervous. Plus, staying hydrated helps prevent cravings for alcohol. 

If it’s appropriate, take your own drinks with you and pack more than you think you need. You’ll be amazed at how many people will choose soft drinks if they’re available. People aren’t as obsessed with alcohol as we tend to think!

Plan ahead

Think through the event in advance. How can you make your life as easy as possible? If you know you’re going to eat late, have a snack before you go so you’re not distracted by hunger, as that can make you crave alcohol more.

Plan your exit. Can you drive there so you can leave whenever you want to? Plan your next day too. No matter how things go, you must celebrate yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something different!

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course

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3 Questions To Ask Before You Drink On Your Next Trip #health #holistic

I don’t know about you, but travel and drinking used to go hand in hand for me. 

It didn’t matter whether I was going on a weekend break, a camping trip or lying by a pool somewhere… I just couldn’t imagine staying sober. 

Even though my drinking had created many problems, for a long time I was convinced that without booze I’d be unable to enjoy myself properly. Do you know what I mean?

If you’re trying to decide whether or not to drink during your next trip, I wanted to share something that’ll help you get unstuck, decide on your next steps and feel good about it all!  

Click here to check out today’s blog.

Key points

You have a choice here. You can do whatever you like… but first, you just need to answer these three questions. 

1. What didn’t you like about drinking during your last trip? 

Your brain will want to gloss over this part, but you wouldn’t be here if it’d all been sunshine and daisies. Write this stuff down so you can see it in black and white. Perhaps you hate waking up with a hangover when it’s really hot outside. Or you noticed you were irritable with your kids or grandkids. Perhaps you missed out on some activities or picked a fight with a loved one because you drunkenly misunderstood something. Maybe you came home feeling tired and exhausted – and craving another holiday just to get over the first one. Note this stuff down.

2. What are the benefits of you being alcohol-free during this trip? 

I know – it sounds kind of obvious to reflect on this, but if you’re not intentional about it, all your attention will go on your doubts about doing something different. So what will you gain from staying sober? Perhaps you know you’ll be more present for the people you care about. Maybe they prefer the alcohol-free version of you because you’re more energetic and fun to be around. Maybe you sleep better and say yes to things more readily. When alcohol isn’t controlling the day, it’s amazing how much more enthusiastic you are about walking, sightseeing and exploring somewhere new. 

3. Are you willing to take a chance and experiment with something different this time? 

This is how you’ve got to view it – as an experiment. You’re not making a forever commitment here or a decision about the rest of your whole entire life. It’s just this trip. Are you willing to experiment with something different, based on your reflections so far? Don’t forget, there will always be other trips. If you experiment and don’t like it, you can revert back to drinking next time. But if you allow yourself to take the risk of doing something different this one time, you might just have a breakthrough and discover something amazing about yourself!

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course

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