“I deserve a glass of wine tonight!”
As soon as the thought popped into my head I knew I’d be in trouble.
When I was drinking, I always felt I deserved wine after a tough day. And if I’d had a good day? Well, I still deserved wine.
If I was busy or bored or tired – or whatever, really – I could always find a reason why I deserved a glass.
Only it was never really just one… 
This video is about how to shift the “I deserve it” thought into something useful:
Key points:
“I deserve a glass of wine” is a thought that’s quite hard to resist, until you start unpicking it. We’ve got to be willing to examine our thoughts – that’s where the real work of sobriety is.
What is it you really deserve?
In the moment when you’re telling yourself, “I deserve a glass of wine” what is it that you’re really wanting? Is it a treat or reward? Relief from a negative emotion? Happiness and pleasure? Or distraction, relaxation or something else?
Once you’ve identified what you’re really craving, then you can look at how to give that to yourself. There are so many other ways you can meet that need without alcohol. Think about how you’d look after a child in this situation.
Flip the script
Remember to ask whether you “deserve” all the side effects too. So the thought “I deserve a glass of wine” needs to be answered with, “but do I deserve a hangover? Do I deserve to break my promises to myself? Do I deserve to feel bad tomorrow?”
Drinking wine can feel like self care but it isn’t. You don’t ‘deserve’ a toxic, cancer causing glass of rotting fruit juice. You just don’t.
What do you deserve in life?
In the grand scheme of things, what do you really want? What do you believe you deserve? Maybe it’s a great relationship, a better job or more time to yourself.
If all you ever tell yourself is “I deserve a glass of wine” then that’s all you’re going to get. Drinking will keep you stuck, tolerating your problems instead of working through them and making changes.
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