You’re at a family gathering and notice that your cousin leaves without finishing their glass.
Then go to your work Christmas party and you’re sure that one of your colleagues has nursed the same drink all evening (and seems perfectly content).
Meanwhile, you’re on your third glass and counting down until you can leave, go home and drink properly.
So why can other people take it or leave it when you can’t? Let’s talk about it.
Key points
You’re not broken or lacking willpower
First things first: other people aren’t take-it-or-leave-it drinkers because they’re better humans than you. They’re not more disciplined, more controlled or more evolved. You don’t have a disease and you’re not broken or weird. You just have a coping mechanism that’s not working for you anymore. That’s it.
You might be wrong about other people
First things first: are you SURE these other people are take-it-or-leave-it drinkers? I ask because I bet there are people in your life who have no idea how much you drink at home. They’ve seen you drinking quite moderately in public and have no idea how much you drink at home. Unless you’re with someone all day, it’s hard to know exactly how much other people drink.
Alcohol might not be their thing
A lot of take-it-or-leave-it drinkers don’t get excited about alcohol because they have a different crutch. Maybe it’s food and they struggle with their weight. Maybe it’s gambling, overspending, overworking. I bet there’s something you know other people struggle with that you don’t, because that thing isn’t your thing.
Take-it-or-leave-it drinkers often dislike being drunk
What if the thing you thought was so great about drinking is the thing they hate? Some people don’t like the weird, dizzy sensation. They don’t like losing control. This means that the very thing you’re looking for at the bottom of a bottle is the thing they’re trying to avoid at all costs. Not wanting to be drunk is, obviously, a strong deterrent to drinking more!
They might be comfortable feeling their feelings
Consider for a moment how often you drink because you’re trying to escape something – stress, sadness, loneliness, frustration, resentment. What if you’d learned how to be okay with those big feelings and didn’t need something outside yourself to manage them? That would really reduce your desire to drink – right? Most of us haven’t been taught how to manage our feelings, but some take-it-or-leave-it drinkers do know this.
Stop comparing and focus on you
I hope this post has provided some answers. But to be honest – there comes a point in all this when you’ve got to stop comparing yourself to other people and focus on what’s right for you. What if it’s okay that other people drink and do their thing, because that’s the right choice for them? And what if the right choice for you is taking a break from drinking? You might not be thrilled about the idea, but I promise – it could be the best thing you ever do.
Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.
The post Why Can’t I Be A Take-It-Or-Leave-It Drinker? appeared first on The Sober School.
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