I bet you’re someone who gets things done.
When no one else volunteers, you step up. When you’re feeling rough, you still make sure everyone else is taken care of. When work gets overwhelming, you just push through.
You’ve spent your whole life solving problems through grit, determination and sheer effort. But there’s one thing that brute force doesn’t seem to fix: your drinking.
If you’ve been beating yourself up thinking it’s just a willpower issue – that you need to try harder, be more disciplined – then this video is for you.
Key points
Even the most driven women struggle with moderation
Let me tell you about Madeline, one of my students. She’s a senior lawyer who put herself through law school as a single mum and became a partner in a male-dominated profession. She’s moved mountains through sheer determination.
Yet she couldn’t figure out how to stop drinking after that first glass of wine. Once she started, she couldn’t stop. If someone as driven and intelligent as Madeline can’t moderate, doesn’t that make you wonder if it’s not about willpower at all?
This isn’t a YOU problem – it’s an alcohol problem
Alcohol is a mind-altering addictive drug that affects the part of your brain responsible for making good decisions. When you’re drinking, you’re using a substance that compromises your own ability to think clearly, stop when you intended to and remember the rules you set for yourself.
You’re not weak or lacking self-control. It’s not that you’re failing at moderation – moderation is failing you. You don’t need more willpower; you just need a different approach and a strategy that actually works.
What actually works
Don’t waste time doubling down on what you’ve tried before or beating yourself up with guilt and shame. The key here is to start changing the way you see alcohol – stop viewing it as something you should be able to control and start seeing it like other addictive drugs.
Another crucial part is understanding why you drink and what you might really need instead. Behind every urge to drink is a normal, understandable human need that’s currently going unmet. When done right, alcohol-free living shouldn’t feel like punishment – it should feel like relief.
Freedom comes when you stop relying on willpower
Once you change your mindset around alcohol, you don’t have to grit your teeth and “get through it” anymore. Madeline is nearly two years alcohol-free now and has made significant changes in her life, including at work.
I’ve been alcohol-free for 12 years, and I wouldn’t have gotten here if it required persistent willpower and grit. I don’t have enough of that. I like an easy life, and that’s actually why I love not drinking so much.
You’ve got to stop telling yourself that you’re broken. You’re certainly not weak. If anything, you’ve probably got too much willpower, which is why you can’t let go of the idea that you can muscle through this with brute force. But unless that approach is working brilliantly for you, maybe it’s time to try something different.
Join me for Freedom Week! Let me show you a gentle, smart approach to sobriety. Click here for all the details.
The post Why Willpower Won’t Fix Your Drinking (And What Will) appeared first on The Sober School.
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